The Ups and Downs of Life

Accepting the natural cycle and finding your purpose

I’m sitting in my hostel room in Palafrugell, Costa Brava, Spain, having my little retreat for 2 nights and 3 days.

my hostel in palafrugell

My last retreat over Easter was amazing, so I’m hoping to replicate that experience somehow and to once again gain some clarity into my current state of life, where I wanna go and such.

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It’s been over one and a half months since my last escape from the busy and buzzin’ city that is Barcelona.

Looking back, I got some pretty sick shots that I turned into photographs and a cinematic vlog. Met cool people next to having time to reflect about my life and reset my brain with fresh perspectives while in the middle of the tranquility that is nature, with its relaxing sounds of crashing waves at the beach.

After this short reset, life continued. Re-energized, it all seemed to go great. Joining fun events organized by our company’s sports club, going out with friends, finishing and putting out my creative passion project that is my YouTube video.

But then, the tension rises again. Work felt like running against a wall, making you question yourself, and one day, after clocking in 8h+ of frustrating work, I left the office, finding myself in packed streets completely filled with little shops selling roses and books that are supposed to be gifted to your significant other - because it was the day of Sant Jordi, basically Valentine’s Day but Catalan and in your face everywhere in the streets. Ah gee, look at all those happy people - where are you, my better half? I felt pretty drained. I went straight home.

For some reason though, when you least expect it, things brighten up again. A nice concert here, connecting with an old friend there. Discovering cool running events and meeting interesting people. Upping your fashion style by consulting your stylish friend. Showing up at the beach at sunrise. And what’s this? Someone you vibe with and a spark simmering into something interesting? Life doesn’t cease to be fun or exciting just because some things don’t go the way you wanted it to go. Going through ups and downs is just part of life, a natural cycle.

I always liked to say that my life was always going up on a macro level but that on a micro level I experience many ups and downs. And I’d say it’s pretty accurate. Unless I go down a really dark path, things should always develop upwards. But in the end, who knows what life will hit me with. Even if I take a big hit in my life’s progress on a macro level, I’ll just get back up.

Life’s very much like a video game. You try to gain XP (experience) and level up over time. But sometimes you take a big hit, and die in-game (lose a life), but then you just respawn and start again. Sure, you might have to partially start over, but no biggie, you’ll be back in no time.

For me, things at work which previously seemed hopeless suddenly turned around to become the best performing month. And the following weeks you continue to get great outcomes as a result of your continuous efforts. The work you put in - even when the odds are stacked against you - will always pay off in the end.

And so here I am, thinking what could still elevate me to the next level. Some kind of big idea or concept that I could pursue to make life yet again more interesting, outside my full-time professional work.

You see, I still struggle with knowing in which direction I should go for with life, I mean how can I really find THAT thing that is meant for me? That mission, my true calling. Right now, I’m developing my business development skills at a big tech firm but at the same time I like to be creative, making videos and such. But is this really what I want to pursue? What if I am wasting my time and instead I should be reviving my old hobby of drawing and get really good at it? Or how about using my other almost forgotten skills of programming to build really cool apps?

During my 3-day retreat, on the way back home, I opened my journal to reflect, and I remembered: the IKIGAI concept. Vincent, my mentor from the 2hearts mentorship program I got into, once told me about this concept when I was sharing my feeling of uncertainty regarding my “life path”.

The concept is pretty simple: To find your calling, find something that fulfills all of these 4 criteria: Something you love, sth the world needs, sth you can be paid for and sth you are good at.

More on this and where I am going with this in an upcoming post, but this should give you more than enough to ponder about. What could be your IKIGAI? And how are you grappling with your ups and downs?